“I found you only to lose”

My Rainy Cloud,

It’s raining early here! I hope you are doing great & enjoying. Happy birthday! I was waiting for your reply but it didn’t appear. Sorry I have disturbed you a lot by my messages again & again. I got to know how it hurts only when I got into the shoes of you.  Once you said that “messages remind someone whom we miss the most”. I troubled you like hell & history is repeating for me. Pardon me please J

 I always keep it secret in my heart that I’m carrying the storms of my love. Though I thought of you constantly after your departure until I felt the grief of separation, I didn't understand the meaning of love. Only once I was wounded did I begin to ache for you. And you left, & settled into my eyes and your name has started to come to my lips. I found love and lost you before understanding; my happiness was snatched away only after I fell in love which the storm of eye stole my concentration but love is still in the heart. At sometime, somewhere I meet you in the destination of landscape, stop the clouds of sigh in dreams. I agree that it's a deep dark & shouldn't be dirty, it shouldn't be unclear too. How do I explain to you... why I love you? My love, I wasn't able to tell you. Whatever's left that my heart needs to tell you my eyes has always explained to you the same. Yet you remain unaware. Even after having met, I haven't met you really I think. There are miles of distance exist between us. Strange chains of events go unnoticed by you. The dreams about you have settled in my eyes... Look into my eyes and you will see... the image that now resides their matches entirely with you. I wonder whether it was your eyes or what you had said that why you became my desire of heart. Despite being close, being my hope, my feelings...  It remains like this... You are not mine. I have grievances against you in my thoughts, millions of things I have said to myself but nothing was said in your presence. You are still no stranger to me despite belongs to someone else. In the end, you are still mine. I feel regret, my heart also weeps; It keeps embellishing dreams It has become mad and keeps thinking... Why did I meet you after all? Let's see who gets destroyed in the pathways to love I found you only to lose you.

Your’s

Anonymous Trekker 

The day I roved for you in the Nizam’s City;

My Hi-tech Highness,

I don’t know what I did from the morning that day as I was feeling Ill. It was almost 9 am when I reached Secundrabad railway station. I met a friend who is preparing for IAS near Ashok Nagar signal. His first question was “why are you here?” I said “Endukochanno nakkuda telidu” (Even I don’t know why in telugu). He laughed & said you never change. I spent some time with him & his roommates. I left room & got city bus from Indira Park to Lakdika Pool. I got in to the bus 127 k & travelled for an hour passing Banjara Hills. I finally got down in your place & walked about a mile. I completed my personal work too early. I called you & you messaged me that you are not in Town.

You are the genuine Martian next to me. Its waste of natural resources for we both living on this Earth. I walked into Domino’s opposite to Cyber Towers & took an hour to resist the shock you gave me. I questioned “Why the hell I am here & what am I doing?” it’s unrequited again. I was hungry but unable to eat anything. I missed my Platinum Debit Card somewhere & it was lost. I donated whole pizza to the tramp women as I was not in mood to open the box too. Let her praises reach you. I strayed some places which you might be walking. I saw your company it’s an awesome place & I am proud you work there as I missed the opportunity twice just in some points.  I dig upped a city train & next was necklace road Station. This is the exquisite place of this city & I love it. It was pigeon’s outside the station & they played with me for half an hour. At least pigeons of this city loved me a lot. Its Cold breeze from Husain Sagar; White Buddha standing up for the Peace in its middle & I was on green lawn with a great view. I laughed at him as peace is too far from today’s generation. I wrote some shits for an hour. I had no reason to be sad. It’s all done as expected. You know I can read your mind & I can guess your next step before you think to do. I watched kids playing in the bunds starts there fight for every 10 min & I enjoyed it. It’s one of my familiar cities but I was feeling it strange that day.

I don’t understand why I can’t come out of you? Life is a big question & I failed to pretend it as a solution. You are not Julia Roberts & don’t play too smart. It’s no use when we fail to understand what we are up to & what people around us are. I just care you & some may call it as Love & some thinks its Friendship. Get adjusted to things, Take some serious decisions about life now & its time or you will be lost again.  Anyhow I won’t propose you nor disturb you. I always love you as a friend, someone who can guide & exchange thoughts. I am bit crazy as you know and now I can take anything I get. Have a smile all time. Happy Valentine's Day. Keep me posted… Take Care

          Your's

 Rambler

I was someone whom I was not !

My Color of Peace,

I just remembered the day we spoke before Six months. It was good, No fight, No misunderstanding & it was a day just like other. You said you will get a corporate SIM from the company next week & I told “I am damn sure you will not give me your number”. You smiled and said “how can you think like that”. After that we spoke for another day & that’s the end. I was just someone who is unknown as others.

I don’t know how people change their mind. As you always say I may be sticky & soft hearted but I cannot be you anytime. I got great respect towards friendship & I always humble for relationships. I was too upset when Ghazal king Jagjit Singh demise. He was my voice after you put down me. He sung for me whole day. He made me to remember you, forget you & he created little anger about you in my mind. He made some marvel in me. Now I miss him a lot too. My “Love to Hate” hypothesis was not productive. Jagjit sung for me 24 hours a day & I was in hunger to hear him still. I was someone whom I was not. I was plan to meet a Psychiatrist but one fine movement I counseled myself “what the hell I am doing?”

I got up; I got busy with new things & out of line job. My motive was not to leave my mind free. I kept on doing something. Job like hell, Writing, Friends, Madly with Face book, some foolish chat rooms, my ugly novel & its asinine research work …so on. Thanks to my sister who thought me this to do. But you were still inside me. My friends were in shock when I left the place which I loved & struggled to stay. “Yes I wanted more!!” I cannot win this world& I didn’t want that foolish thought in my mind. I wanted to do something… I wanted to fulfill some responsibilities & I am doing.

Till today I got nothing as expected & it’s same happened with you. Why to run behind desires? Is world is for money? Where the fcuk is that “Imaginary Cordial relationships”? Nothing comes free today; it may apply for love & relationship too. Many of this thoughts disturbed me to a large extent & still make me upset.

My love for you cannot be described. Love connotes friendship, memories, care, trust, honesty & everything for me. I live for it. You will get my novel’s next chapter soon. That’s it for now.

Ahead of your invitation,

Someone