I was someone whom I was not !

My Color of Peace,

I just remembered the day we spoke before Six months. It was good, No fight, No misunderstanding & it was a day just like other. You said you will get a corporate SIM from the company next week & I told “I am damn sure you will not give me your number”. You smiled and said “how can you think like that”. After that we spoke for another day & that’s the end. I was just someone who is unknown as others.

I don’t know how people change their mind. As you always say I may be sticky & soft hearted but I cannot be you anytime. I got great respect towards friendship & I always humble for relationships. I was too upset when Ghazal king Jagjit Singh demise. He was my voice after you put down me. He sung for me whole day. He made me to remember you, forget you & he created little anger about you in my mind. He made some marvel in me. Now I miss him a lot too. My “Love to Hate” hypothesis was not productive. Jagjit sung for me 24 hours a day & I was in hunger to hear him still. I was someone whom I was not. I was plan to meet a Psychiatrist but one fine movement I counseled myself “what the hell I am doing?”

I got up; I got busy with new things & out of line job. My motive was not to leave my mind free. I kept on doing something. Job like hell, Writing, Friends, Madly with Face book, some foolish chat rooms, my ugly novel & its asinine research work …so on. Thanks to my sister who thought me this to do. But you were still inside me. My friends were in shock when I left the place which I loved & struggled to stay. “Yes I wanted more!!” I cannot win this world& I didn’t want that foolish thought in my mind. I wanted to do something… I wanted to fulfill some responsibilities & I am doing.

Till today I got nothing as expected & it’s same happened with you. Why to run behind desires? Is world is for money? Where the fcuk is that “Imaginary Cordial relationships”? Nothing comes free today; it may apply for love & relationship too. Many of this thoughts disturbed me to a large extent & still make me upset.

My love for you cannot be described. Love connotes friendship, memories, care, trust, honesty & everything for me. I live for it. You will get my novel’s next chapter soon. That’s it for now.

Ahead of your invitation,

Someone